5 Tips to Befriend Your Body
5 Tips to Befriend Your Body
Our bodies are our most very basic of homes. They accompany us on each and every moment of our lives, and yet, so many of us have fraught relationships with them. They have the potential to be our greatest ally in this world, as well as one of our greatest sources of strength. My hope in sharing this article is that you walk away with some ideas to make peace with your body and find comfort in your own skin.
Check out the tips below. Remember these are just starting points. Try them on and make them your own.
Have a conversation with your body. Seriously. I know it sounds weird, but talk to your body as you would any friend. Open up a dialogue. Ask thoughtful questions-how are you today? What's new? What do you need from me today? Anything I need to be aware of? Listen for the answers. You might consider making this a ritual like a daily mindfulness practice, journaling exercise, or just a quick check in over coffee or a meal. We live in a world that prioritizes the mind, thought, and logic. These things are all great, however, if we do so at the expense of our bodies' wisdom and wellbeing, we will likely end up with more problems. Our bodies have so much insight on likes and dislikes, our needs, our wishes and wants, and when and how we might need to protect ourselves. Unfortunately we are often taught from a young age to disregard these messages, so much so, we stop listening. Open the dialogue again. Consider writing your body a letter. You might acknowledge that you’ve lost touch or haven’t been paying attention and vow to work on doing better. It may feel awkward at first, however if you stick with it, you will be rewarded with a much richer understanding of your experience in this world, and much better insight into how to care for yourself and live intentionally.
Nurture your body. We all crave comfort and care sometimes. It can be incredibly powerful to gift yourself this, versus waiting for someone else to offer it. There are infinite possibilities here, and what feels nurturing will differ for everyone, so please experiment. Here are a few ideas to get your started:
Self Massage. Find a lotion with a texture and scent you love. Then take your time slowly applying it. You might start with your hands, and a dollop in the palm, and make slow circular motions messaging it into the front and back of your hand. Expand outward to each finger, slowly attending to the webbing between fingers, the knuckles and the finger pads. You might try adding a mantra or affirmation to accompany this- “This is my hand. I take comfort in nurturing my body.”
Place your hand on your heart or cheek. This can be such a comforting gesture. Try it out if you feel disheartened or distressed, and just notice how you feel when you do this.
3. Move your body in ways that rejuvenate. This is not about exercise, calorie burning, or weight loss. This is about getting to know your body’s likes and needs. Some days this may be gentle stretching or swaying from side to side, and other days it may be something heart pumping. This is about honoring your most sacred home and what it needs to feel balanced, soothed and grounded. Experiment and guess at what this might be if you are not sure. If you are stiff and tight, maybe try moving in a fluid, water-like way. If you are tense and agitated, shake it out. Then ask “how does this feel now.” There is no right or wrong answer here.
4. Acknowledge your body's limits. Rest when you need to and be conscientious of when you ask it to keep going and when you need to pull back. By honoring what it has to give, you will find more balance. Sometimes this is confusing, such as when we get too much sleep and still feel tired, or get too little and feel wired. This is where experimentation and the previous suggestions come into play. Sometimes if I’m exhausted and wired, I need to work that wired feeling out of my body in order to rest. Conversely, if I’m groggy and I know what I need is to get moving, some gentle stretching to get blood flowing and wake up may be the answer. Remember it's ok to experiment when you are unsure, and then reflect on how it went and what you learned.
5. Play. Have fun! This can get overlooked in day to day life and yet it is so necessary to find joy. Think of the people that you laugh the most with in your life. How do you feel about them? Yourself when you are with them? For me, this is vibrant, alive and connected. Find ways to be playful with yourself. I had a colleague who would buy herself gifts, wrap them, and then hide them in a closet until she found them randomly and unexpectedly. I love this! There are so many possibilities here- gardening, creative outlets, baking, dancing, music, hiking, climbing trees, window shopping. Skies the limit! Do what calls to you. Play, and do it regularly. Allow yourself to create joyful moments and really show up and inhabit your body during these experiences. Notice how it feels, how you carry yourself, how it impacts the rest of your day. Be curious.
At the end of the day, this is all about paying attention. Be as attentive to your body as you would a friend, loved one, pet, or child. Get in tune with its wants and needs and practice acknowledging and caring for them. This may be challenging, you might encounter thoughts or beliefs that interfere. Maybe you don’t believe you deserve care, or that you have to punish your body to get what you want. This can be particularly challenging if you have chronic pain or health conditions as well. It’s hard to partner with something that has caused you pain. However, we only get one body, and we do not build bridges with criticism. Befriending your body may take work. If these things arise for you, notice them, pay attention to the impact they have, your own emotional response, and your body's response. They are an important part of the story and necessary to acknowledge if any repair is to happen in your relationship with your body. Practice nurturing yourself in these moments. Kind words and gestures can go a long way, just as they may with a friend. Our relationship with our bodies is a lifelong one. It makes sense it would be tenuous and strained at times, as with any of our loved ones. If we can approach these times with acceptance and love, it can help guide the way through and strengthen our connections to our body, ourselves, and others.